I’ll come right out and say it, I had a revelation. My Easter post was meant as a snarky set-up for a post about the impotency of prayer. Looking back at where I was when I wrote it, I feel like a fool...and yet, I’m very grateful that it was written. It lead me to my revelation.
I don’t know where to begin writing. My hands are just on auto-pilot, so bear with me. (I wonder if this is how the authors of the Bible felt.) The atheist perspective is that prayer can’t be meaningful because people can and do pray against each other. For example, I pray for Team A to win while someone else prays for Team B to win. Since we can't know what the Lord has planned, it's even possible for us to pray against God’s will. I still think this is a valid point, to a degree, but I can’t ignore the coincidence of it. My reader's prayers were answered, they just can't be quantified. God always knew this would be when I was saved and He also knew I would be prayed for. In this way, I know your prayers helped. If you didn't pray for me, you may ask "how do you know I was prayed for in the first place?" I could feel it! No, I’m not that connected to the divine just yet. I read it. I received an Easter email from a Christian that told me exactly what I needed to hear. I have since wrote him back asking for permission to post his letter, in hopes it will touch my many atheist readers like it has touched me. So far, no response. It will have to wait for another post.
You should know that I went to church with my wife’s Catholic family on Sunday. As an atheist, I generally agreed to show up on holidays to spend time with the in-laws, secretly critiquing the homily in my mind. I couldn’t think of anything this time around. Strangely, I drew a blank. The service all happened so fast, very different from how I usually feel it drag on. I left the church an atheist, same as always--but in a daze.
Family dinner was pleasant, the evening went well. I barely had a concept for my life changing. In my interviews with Christians-turned-atheists, I've learned the change is usually gradual. From cult to mainstream to liberal believer to agnostic to atheist. I wonder if the conversion to atheism moves slowly because it is unnatural or against God's will. Either way, the Lord provided me the perspective needed to hasten my reconversion.
Did I have an “a-ha,” or perhaps an “amen!” moment? If I did, it happened between the hours of 11pm and 5am. I woke up with the force of knowledge only an epiphany of this magnitude could deliver. My revelation? It was the first of April. All Fools' Day.
