The Failed Prophecy of Jesus' Return

Hat tip to Hausdorff for actually reading the damn thing.

Seventh Day Revisions

Resting for an omnipotent being seems odd to me--especially for one who apparently didn’t do anything with His eternal life up until the book of Genesis. It’s one of the many (many, many) reasons I don’t accept the bible at face value. This got me thinking...what could the bible say about that 7th day to make the story just a little more believable? I’ll give it a shot. Update your holy books, Christians, you can thank me later.

• On the 7th day, God went off his medication.
• On the 7th day, God planted fossils to cover his tracks.
• On the 7th day, God created a talking snake to undermine his plans.
• On the 7th day, God developed multiple personality disorder.
• On the 7th day, God adds defective genes, unused biology, occasional congenital diseases and birth defects, and other design flaws to his creations.
• On the 7th day, God establishes a place of eternal torment to send those who refuse to believe he is a loving god.
• On the 7th day, God created narcissists and sociopaths in his image.
• On the 7th day, God gave man the imagination to come up with crazy notions like, well, gods.
• On the 7th day, God rested...and every day thereafter. Amen.

Have a 7th day revision of your own? Add it in the comments!

I Have So Many Questions...