"I'll Pray for You."

Fairness & The Performance Enhancing Deity

I've been thinking a lot lately about fairness. For a society that values fairplay, I can't help but wonder, what in life is fair? It is not fair to ask the rich to pay a higher percentage of their income in taxes. On the other hand, it is not fair that the wealthy to have more opportunities than the poor. It isn't fair for someone to be born an English Royal while another child is born starving in Africa. Beyond a birthright of luxury, some are born with the genetic potential to succeed over others. I.Q., physical beauty, an ambitious personality--all kinds of attributes contribute to one's eventual success of failure. It isn't fair.

Conservatives want us to believe that success is all about elbow grease, and most of it is, but not nearly all. No one trains for success more than the athletes competing in the Olympics. A friend of mine was a near Olympic-level cross skier. He was in better shape than I could ever hope to be and constantly skied in the winter and ran in the summer. Yet, he was only near Olympic-level. Truth is, I could never be the best cyclist or the best swimmer because I don't have Lance Armstrong's lung capacity or Michael Phelps' body shape. I'm too short to play for the NBA and too tall to jockey. I'd me mad if I didn't understand, but I do. Life isn't fair. Life is random.

If God exists, why is life random? Why set some up for heaven on earth and leave others to suffer? The "blessed are the" whatevers argument has us to believe that the meek and poor will inherit heaven while to rich will need to work hard to find their place. Truth is, those who suffer on earth are more likely to suffer in the afterlife as well, assuming Christian doctrine is correct. The poor are the more likely to set down a path of commandment-breaking actions if only to survive. The deck is stacked against them in this life and the next. If life isn't random, then what is the apologetic answer for God's haphazard cruelty?

Some must think God helps counter his previous bad decisions by deciding to help those who ask. Let's double back to the Olympics for this example. There are strick rules against athletes using human growth hormones because they give an unfair advantage. Even though I have argued that certain athletes already have a natural unfair advantage, I totally agree that man should not add to the problem. Why is it okay for God to add to the problem? Why should some athletes have a supernatural advantage? The faithful's impulse to pray to God for a win isn't practically unfair--because, of course, it does nothing--but it certainly shows the athlete's intension to be unfair. The only reason that the Olympic Committee and the people of the world allow this holy appeal is because we all know it doesn't work. Belief, in this case, is topical. It's right there on the surface, but deep down, we know. We know prayer doesn't work. We know life is random. Deep down, we're all atheists.

The Nicene Creed

The Nicene Creed is a profession of faith that is recited by Catholics every single mass. I have included it below, with my two cents, of course.

I believe in one God,

the Father almighty,

maker of heaven and earth,

of all things visible and invisible. <- Invisible is his speciality.

I believe in one Lord Jesus Christ,

the Only Begotten Son of God,

born of the Father before all ages.

God from God, Light from Light,

true God from true God, <- So...there's two true Gods now?

begotten, not made, consubstantial with the Father;  <- Consubstantial is a made up word.

through him all things were made.

For us men and for our salvation

he came down from heaven,

and by the Holy Spirit was incarnate of the Virgin Mary, <- Bow chicka wow wow.

and became man.

For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate, <- Never knew why they singled out PP.

he suffered death and was buried,

and rose again on the third day

in accordance with the Scriptures. <- Fulfilled prophecy is the Bible proving the Bible.

He ascended into heaven

and is seated at the right hand of the Father.

He will come again in glory

to judge the living and the dead

and his kingdom will have no end. <- An infinite dictatorship.

I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life,

who proceeds from the Father and the Son,

who with the Father and the Son is adored and glorified, <- Sure this is monotheism?

who has spoken through the prophets. <-They may have misspelled "profits" here.

I believe in one, holy, catholic and apostolic Church.

I confess one baptism for the forgiveness of sins <- Even those sins can be forgiven later too.

and I look forward to the resurrection of the dead <- The Walking Dead on AMC.

and the life of the world to come. Amen.

It's a longish creed, granted, but what really gets me is that they need to be reminded of what they believe every Sunday. I've been to a variety of Catholic churches now and when the priest starts reciting this creed, he reads it. When the congregation chants it with him, 80% of them take the card next to their bibles to read it back. Only about 10% have it memorized. The last 10% are either mumbling along or asleep.

Don't take my word for it, go to church. If you can't stomach the hypocrisy, check this photo I took recently during the Creed-read. I'm just glad my religious belief can be summed up with a "non-of-the-above."